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When I was in it, that was more the case, because it was still pretty new and raw. One of the interesting things we discovered when we were doing research for the show was the median income and education for viewers [of these dating shows] is over 0K a year and a lot of them have master's degrees and above. There are a ton of women who are super smart and really ambitious and totally have their lives together who love those shows. But just the idea that I had spent my whole life advocating for other women, protecting other kids at school from getting bullied, talking about body image. And the other hard part was that I kind of liked it.
We had a lot of standards and practices as to how to handle certain situations, and I truthfully don't actually know how that's changed or evolved. We drill it in starting with little girls, this idea that if you're pretty enough and skinny enough, that everything will be OK and somebody will save us and all our problems will be over. I kind of think it's a fantasy or a relief from being a career woman. It was almost like a cartoon, how black-and-white and diametrically opposed the show was to who I was. And that made me feel like I didn't understand myself. It was just a bizarre situation — like sending a vegan to a slaughterhouse and telling them they have to be really good at killing cows.
Here’s a gender-balance map from a 1890 Census Atlas: Pink is women in excess, the ruddy, brutish reddish-brown is extra men.
Like I said with the NYC map, Kipling nailed it: East is East, and West is West, and never the twain shall meet.
But that's pretty problematic in this medium because audiences have such a strong B. Being able to sniff out that phoniness is why a lot of people who do watch reality TV say things like, "Well, I know a lot of reality TV is fake, but…" What's the answer to that "but"? Even though I come from an academic family — my dad's a professor and both my siblings are academics — even in that circle, when I'd come home to BBQs or parties or bar mitzvahs or whatever, everyone wanted to talk to me about my job.
My sister was in the Peace Corps at the time, organizing coffee farmers in Central America, but everyone wanted to talk to me. For some of these people, it's the biggest thing that's ever going to happen to them in their lives. But then they wind up playing this chess game they can't beat.
Every time she sets out to do something good, she ends up doing something horrible. Allowing both these characters to be flawed and loving them anyway is pretty huge.Additionally, “single” according to the Census means anyone who isn’t married, so even long-term relationships don’t come into the picture at all. It’s singles by age and zip code in the SF Bay Area. And yes, this map doesn’t account for sexuality at all, so there are plenty of men in those blue zones with zero interest in women.Use the age range sliders to get it to an area that’s meaningful to you, I’ve started it off at 20-34. The only outpost with an excess of single women in San Francisco is Pacific Heights, although if you believed Wikipedia’s list of Notable Residents it’d be 80% male (cough).If you’re straight, single, and looking for love, my best advice might just be to go buy a plane ticket. If you read up on the age issues on my original singles map, you’d find that once all the men get old and die off, it’s nothing but single women all across America.This was the issue that caused the original trouble, though: when you organize things at the level of an entire city (and its surrounding suburbs), you miss out on the nuance that breaks the heart of every single woman in New York City.
And that time I showed how I was completely kind of horribly somewhat wrong, and that Manhattan is nothing but an island-nation of nothing but women?